Monday, August 13, 2007

A lot has happened since our visit in July. Joei and I are living with friends and I am trying to find a job. Joei’s surgery (to remove one of her tumors) has been moved to September 17^th because Joe cancelled our insurance. She is so precious and such a Godsend, with her sweet nature. I pray her surgery goes well. I am scared to think of my life without her.

Thursday, August 23

Thank you for allowing Joei and me the chance to apply for emergency help. I just learned the Ranch is going to send us a check to help with food and transportation. I cannot thank you enough for opening your hearts to me and my daughter. We will use this money wisely.

Friday, August 24

Thank you again for the help. Joei and I hope you all have a great weekend. Our weekend will be spent on the road. I am taking her back to the cranial specialist in Houston. Her left eye is starting to droop. My Medicaid application is pending and God willing it will go through in time for us to keep her surgery date of September 17^th. So many things race through my mind when I think of my precious little baby having to go through a surgery like this. But, then I look at Joei and I am reminded that no matter how hard it is, I have to stay strong, hold on to my faith, and keep my eyes lifted towards heaven. I know God would not send such a tiny miracle, such an amazing angel to me just to take her away. She is such an amazing little girl; she never stops wanting to learn. You can see the drive and excitement in her eyes every time she masters something new. She is running now, talking up a storm, and is just one of the happiest babies I’ve ever seen. She helps me wash the dishes; she always washes the spoons and forks for Mommy. When she does, she knows she’s done a good thing because she starts giggling and clapping her hands. Every day I wake up, I know I was put on this Earth to be her Mommy, and I know that she was sent to teach me, inspire me, drive me, and love me like only God could. She is truly what makes everything right in my life. Though my marriage has turned out to be another hard lesson learned, and one more thing in my life I have to survive, I would do it all over again. Every mean-spirited lashing out, every slap or punch to my face, every second fearing for my life, every single pain he has caused me – I would do it all again a million times, if it meant me finally having my miracle, my little girl. Though the last years have been some of the worst in my life, my daughter’s smile and love shining through her eyes is worth every horrible thing I went through. Again, thank you. I love you always.

Saturday, August 25

Thank you so much for your love and support. I have never known such amazing people, and I am thankful every day that I have the Ranch as our family. After calling the cranial specialist’s office to inform them of Joei’s new issue (her eye starting to droop), they were able to schedule her an appointment for Tuesday. I do not know how much it is going to cost yet, but thankfully I got the check from the Ranch in the mail today, and I am almost certain it will cover the gas there and back and the visit fee. I know she has to be seen ASAP. It is scaring me more each day, her tumors are growing in size and there are now three more that have appeared in just the last month. I am devastated that her father has cancelled insurance coverage on her.

Monday, August 27

Sorry it took me so long to get back to you about Joei’s appointment. I couldn’t reply to you sooner because today the electricity was turned off. The bill was past due before we moved in, but it is too hot for Joei to be without electricity, so I took some of the money the Ranch sent me to pay for the electricity to be turned back on. I have never had a utility turned off before.

Friday, September 7

I have been on the phone all morning with the Ombudsman for Medicaid. They are trying to process my application quickly, so that if Joei is eligible, I can go to the local office and get a temporary card for her surgery.

They were not encouraging about the timing. They also told me that for future help with Joei’s medical condition, I should apply for SSI, which I am doing. Her surgery is still set at Texas Children’s Hospital on the 17^th, next Monday, provided Medicaid approves. The doctor says we shouldn’t wait one day longer to do the surgery.

Wednesday, September 12

The computer was down yesterday because of the storms here. I am waiting on Medicaid to call me back. We have the 17^th scheduled for Joei’s surgery and today we are traveling to Houston. I am hoping that once I get to Houston I will be able to show up at the Medicaid office and plead more with them for a temporary card. Joei’s 15-month immunization shots are also due, and she needs them before her surgery. I am praying hard.

Thursday, September 13

Yesterday, Texas Children’s Hospital financial aid department called me and said that if I cannot prove I have Medicaid by late this afternoon – they are going to cancel Joei’s surgery on Monday. I called them back and I actually begged them not to cancel the surgery and to please allow me until tomorrow to get approval. Thank you for getting in contact with Chuck at Any Baby Can in Kerrville. You were right. He has been a great friend to me and an invaluable resource to helping my sweet Joei. I told him that if Medicaid falls through, Joei and I will be there this weekend or first thing Monday morning. He assured me that if I’m there he can help me get the ball rolling. I’ve been up all night – crying, praying, and sad that she only has one parent who cares and who is there for her while she goes through this surgery and recovery process. She deserves both to love, nurture, care for, and help her heal. It is so scary to me – the idea of brain surgery, its outcome, her recovery and life after the surgery. But I can do nothing but be brave for Joei.

Friday, September 14

Joei has Medicaid! It is not in the system yet, but I am on my way to pick up the temporary card and fax it to the hospital. She will have her surgery on Monday, as scheduled! We are leaving for Houston now, to have her there for her pre-op procedures this weekend.

Tuesday, September 18

Joei had her surgery yesterday at Texas Children’s Hospital in Houston and I just wanted to let you know that we are back home and she is doing great! It took her a long time to wake up and be alert, but when she finally did she was laughing and talking up a storm. She has to take it easy for the next week, and her head seems to hurt a little bit. But, she is handling it like the angel she is.

We’ll get the biopsy results in about a week, but the doctor feels about 75% sure that what he removed is a dermoid cyst, which is the greatest news we could have hoped for! We don’t know if it will grow back, but if it does, it will require the same type of surgery. The other tumors on her head will have to be removed, too. But, for now if they aren’t growing and they’re not bothering her, the doctor says they can wait. She is lying in bed right now watching a movie. She is such a happy baby. I can not express to each of you just how much your help and support has truly meant to me and Joei. It sincerely has gotten me through the last several weeks.

Thank you all so much. You are mine and Joei’s angels and we will never forget what you have done for us. I can’t wait for you all to see Joei again, to see how happy she is, and how she aches to learn new things. She was a brave little girl yesterday – she never cried. She made me so very proud. I want to get back in there with her, so I will go for now. I’ll let you know how she’s doing. Thank you!

Thursday, September 27

The hospital just called with great news! The tumor they removed from Joei is benign! The other tumors will have to come out, but for now she is doing great!

When I heard it was the hospital, my stomach turned. I was so scared they were going to give me bad news. But it was the best news we could have hoped for. I cried and held my little girl so tightly, knowing she still has a long road ahead of her, but she is going to be okay.

Once again you, Carol, and the Ranch have stood beside me, and I believe with all my heart that all your help, love & prayers helped my sweet Joei, more than I could ever express to you all. Oh, how my heart overflowed with such amazing joy & happiness. With yours and God’s help, Joei and I will make it through. Your kindness and love is something we will carry with us always ...

All our love,