Ed note: It seems almost impossible to watch television or read a magazine anymore without seeing a story of someone who, as a child, was ripped from the arms of a sibling, never to see her or him again. A popular talk show recently aired a segment featuring two sisters who had not seen each other in 56 years! The tearful reunion was very moving to witness. As society becomes more aware of the trauma of sibling separation, reunification has become a priority in planning the out-of-home care of children. In the article below, former Ranch resident Angela Tijerina describes what HCYR is doing to help.

By Angela Tijerina

Anyone who has met Cathy remembers her well. She came to live at the Hill Country Youth Ranch in 1986 after removal from an unsafe home life where she served as the mother figure to her younger brother, Gary. Cathy is, as many describe her, "a ray of sunshine" who never has an unkind word to say about anyone, despite her painful past.

Cathy always had a certain "spark" that spread through a room like a brushfire. But never did her eyes sparkle so brightly as the day her brother came to live with her at the Ranch.

The two had been placed individually in different settings and had not seen each other in years. They shared a painful past, but more importantly, a resilient nature. The two flourished as they lived here together, and they remain very close to this day.

Gary, the proud father of a 6- month old son, still visits his sister at least once a week. Cathy, the mother of her own sibling group, loves to talk about her "wonderful little brother" and her nephew, "the sweetest baby in the world". The two now have a healthy relationship with their father who has enjoyed sobriety for several years. One can only wonder how long it would have been before they saw each other again had it not been for their placements at the Hill Country Youth Ranch.

The statistics regarding sibling separation are unsettling. There are over 600,000 children in foster care across the U. S. Sixty-five to 85 percent of children entering the foster care system have at least one sibling; 30% of children in foster care have four or more siblings, and 75% of siblings end up apart when they enter placement. In plain English, this means that three out of four children placed in foster care are separated from at least one sibling.

Placement policies at Hill Country Youth Ranch are aimed at making the Ranch an exception to the rule. Sibling reunification is a top priority when considering bed availability vs. the admissions waiting list.

As a result, almost every child who lives at HCYR has one or more siblings living here with him. We even have a set of twins in our "family". The two 17-year-old girls, Anita and Katherine, so closely resemble each other physically that one might confuse them for the same person.

If you wonder why siblings are not typically placed together when virtually everyone agrees that they should be, the truth is that the child welfare system cannot always keep children together. The ranks of children needing foster care continue to swell, and children who are victims of severe abuse often appear on the system’s radar only in the moment of extreme emergency, requiring a caseworker to make quick placements of siblings in separate homes where immediate beds can be found.

Meanwhile, the total number of available beds in foster homes has declined in recent years, and these homes tend to be filled up piecemeal with foster children from different birth homes. Thus, in addition to losing connection with abusive parents, children, through sibling separation, are also removed from their only other lifeline to the people they have loved, to those with whom they’ve made their memories.

At HCYR, we believe that children removed from a chaotic situation and delivered to strangers for care and treatment, are especially deserving of support in having their sibling relationships maintained as a semblance of normalcy in their lives. Therefore, every attempt is made to find Ranch beds for all the members of these sibling groups.

It’s an old story. While siblings may be the first to put the blame on each other for minor incidents, they are usually the first to join sides when major trouble looms. They look out for each other; they look up to each other; they are mentors to each other. They are friends.

The sibling bond, often taken for granted, is, next to that formed with parents, the longest relationship in life. It is a treasure, and we are glad to be among those seeking to help preserve it for our children.